Another one for the vault.

For the umpteenth time, I nearly killed myself trying to walk around the far side of the bed in our room in the TLF. Why? Because there is a warm lump of a cat, hidden from view under the bed comforter, yet sticking out in the way. I have tripped over said cat many times and grappled to the wall to spare my face a floor-smack.

Me: *walks into living room*
Me: I'm going to kill the cat soon, I swear.
Philip: What?
Me: I'm going to kill the cat. If I don't, she's going to kill me.
A.J.: Which cat?
Me: Kiki. She keeps sleeping in hiding on my side of the bed, and I'm tired of falling over her.
Philip: *laughs*
Me: I don't get it. I keep scooting her over under the bed so that I won't step on her... why does she do it?
Philip: Because she can't fit under the bed?
Me: No, she fits fine, 'cuz I scoot her under it with no problem.
A.J.: If you kill Kiki, I'm going to secede.
Me: *confused look*
Philip: You're what?
A.J.: I'm going to secede from this family.
ALL: *laughs*

And as I type this, Kiki *merps* into the room, purring and acting all adorable and sweet. That cat, I swear. *shakes head*